The most effective predators hide in communities that establish trust and give them the benefit of the doubt, like religious or spiritual, new age, feminist groups, and organizations like OWF, which is why it is essential to be able to recognize predatory behavior early and get out, whether or not he’s wearing a white feather.
Coming soon: the many ways NO looks and how predators ignore them.
Characteristics of Predators :
- Refusal to take responsibility for actions and blames others or circumstances for failures
- Charming (think charm, like casting a spell)
- A sense of entitlement
- Low self-esteem, often hidden by a confident mask
- Need for power and control
- Lack of empathy
- Good manipulators (“seduction” is an integral part, masters at coercion)
- Overly self-indulgent
- Sexualize, objectify women
- Users of various kinds of pornography
- Deviant sexual behavior and attitudes
- Typically known as rationalizers, intellectualizers, justifiers
- Great helpers — are there to lend a helping hand — prey on people in need, when they can insinuate themselves in your life (you’ll have to be extra careful in an organization like OWF)
- Use stressful and vulnerable situations to get in — they find a need they can fill and they use that to get next to the victim (like pretend to care for a vulnerable wo/man in the wake of sexual assault. It’s why so many survivors have been victimized several times. These predators are very, very convincing.)
- Inability to form intimate relationships with adults (inability to commit fully, which means several short-lived relationships or infidelity)
- History of abuse
- Troubled childhood
- Often offend where they won’t get caught — when they have misdirected people’s attention or when they are alone without other witnesses
- Often married or in relationships (cheating on their partners)
- Offend when the victim is handy (will hide in groups like OWF and spiritual communities to gain trust and establish a benefit of the doubt)
Also, read these:
- “Mythcommuication” – Yes Means Yes Blog.
- “The Boiling Frog Principal of Boundary Violation” – Yes Means Yes Blog.
- “Emotional and Sexual Predators” – Caught in the Cogs