End of Trust

Please go to the poet’s website to read the entire poem, as well as commentary from the survivor. I came across this a few weeks ago, and it really touched me. This poem is about her rape over two decades ago.

Survivors truly have a life sentence.

As this entire website…trigger warnings:

Your Kind of Love Ended Trust for Me

Your kind of love
Ended trust for me
Shattered it into
A sea of burnt out stars

You romanced me
Said I was beautiful
You loved my smile
Loved swimming in my eyes

I wanted the words you offered
Craved them in fact
They quenched that thirst
Born of young desire

Our first date
You didn’t touch me
You made me a picnic lunch
And opened the door for me

I was intoxicated, drunk
On feelings I rarely had
Butterflies swarmed
In the daydreams I had

The phone call came
You wanted to see me again
I felt like a clown
With my unending grin

We drove to the lake
Parked in fact
We talked a bit
A very little bit

Like in the movies
You reached for my face
Put your lips on mine
My knees went weak

So sweet at first
And the kiss deepened
Our tongues dance
Our hands explored

Your hands began feeling more
Places my hands rarely explored
New feelings surging wild
Fighting the fear that began to rise

Guiding my hands
You asked for things
The length of you
Hard behind your jeans

I started to worry about our pace
Your hands were bold
Out of bounds and in my space
Fingers strong, breath hard

Stop…..please I need to think
He scurried over on top of me
Kissed my neck whispering
It’s ok we’ll just kiss, as his hands

His hands start undressing me
I hold my jeans and said not yet
He said ok…you’re just so sexy
His mouth continues on my neck

So confused at how I felt
Wanting more but needing control
My hands had stopped
As he pulled a nipple from my bra

His face buried in my breasts
He undid his pants surprising me
Panic began to rise in me
As his hands reached for me

I just want to feel naked with you
I promise I won’t fuck you
I conceded my jeans as he felt
Well…

He pressed his dick against me
Once again panic surged through me
I stopped and pushed his shoulders
No!!! Seriously…I’m not ready for this

God you’re such a tease
A fucking bitch, my mind went numb
My hands restrained above my head
As he entered me, taking my virginity

He came on his shirt when he was done
Pulled up his pants and got off of me
He realized I was crying
What’s wrong? Shit happens!

….read the rest of the poem here.

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2 Comments

Filed under Misogyny, Objectification, Rape Culture

2 responses to “End of Trust

  1. Thank you for this. Thank you for carrying my voice.

    • Thank you for speaking about your experience. The more of us who do so will make it easier for others to do so. Soon, our voices will no longer be ignored or dismissed.

      In solidarity. xo

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