Please go to the poet’s website to read the entire poem, as well as commentary from the survivor. I came across this a few weeks ago, and it really touched me. This poem is about her rape over two decades ago.
Survivors truly have a life sentence.
As this entire website…trigger warnings:
Your Kind of Love Ended Trust for Me
Your kind of love
Ended trust for me
Shattered it into
A sea of burnt out starsYou romanced me
Said I was beautiful
You loved my smile
Loved swimming in my eyesI wanted the words you offered
Craved them in fact
They quenched that thirst
Born of young desireOur first date
You didn’t touch me
You made me a picnic lunch
And opened the door for meI was intoxicated, drunk
On feelings I rarely had
Butterflies swarmed
In the daydreams I hadThe phone call came
You wanted to see me again
I felt like a clown
With my unending grinWe drove to the lake
Parked in fact
We talked a bit
A very little bitLike in the movies
You reached for my face
Put your lips on mine
My knees went weakSo sweet at first
And the kiss deepened
Our tongues dance
Our hands exploredYour hands began feeling more
Places my hands rarely explored
New feelings surging wild
Fighting the fear that began to riseGuiding my hands
You asked for things
The length of you
Hard behind your jeansI started to worry about our pace
Your hands were bold
Out of bounds and in my space
Fingers strong, breath hardStop…..please I need to think
He scurried over on top of me
Kissed my neck whispering
It’s ok we’ll just kiss, as his handsHis hands start undressing me
I hold my jeans and said not yet
He said ok…you’re just so sexy
His mouth continues on my neckSo confused at how I felt
Wanting more but needing control
My hands had stopped
As he pulled a nipple from my braHis face buried in my breasts
He undid his pants surprising me
Panic began to rise in me
As his hands reached for meI just want to feel naked with you
I promise I won’t fuck you
I conceded my jeans as he felt
Well…
He pressed his dick against me
Once again panic surged through me
I stopped and pushed his shoulders
No!!! Seriously…I’m not ready for thisGod you’re such a tease
A fucking bitch, my mind went numb
My hands restrained above my head
As he entered me, taking my virginityHe came on his shirt when he was done
Pulled up his pants and got off of me
He realized I was crying
What’s wrong? Shit happens!
Thank you for this. Thank you for carrying my voice.
Thank you for speaking about your experience. The more of us who do so will make it easier for others to do so. Soon, our voices will no longer be ignored or dismissed.
In solidarity. xo